Judged Love Page 3

  She was a little confused about the fact that he wasn’t ready to move on from his wife he must have loved her dearly. But then why try to get to know her when Sarah was obviously trying to set them up even though he wanted nothing to do with it. He probably thought she wasn’t good enough for him so he pushed her way so he wouldn’t have to tell anyone the way that he feels. She sent up a silent pray thanking the lord that she wasn’t with the guy and then answered Senior’s question. “Well he maybe wasn’t such a jerk he just judged me for the way I look and laughed at my house. So maybe like you said he just isn’t ready to move forward.” After that Benny rode out of the barn on his pony looking like his father when he rode away just a smaller version of him. She suddenly felt sad that she would never get to know Ben better since he pushed her away. “Little Benny is a good rider, it looks like he was born for the saddle.” All Senior did was grunt in agreement with her and she suddenly felt guilty of something. Maybe she shouldn’t be telling all her problems to Ben’s father but he is so easy to talk to unlike his son.

  A few hours past, of Annabelle watching and encouraging Benny on his pony before Ben and Mary returned. Before she could see them coming over the ridge she could feel in her heart that Ben was getting close and she looked in the direction they would be coming from. She saw a site that almost brought her to her knees. Ben was riding sitting so tall like he belonged there with his hat on and still no shirt. He held the reigns of his horse very loose like he didn’t really need them but dang he looked so good today even being dirty from working and helping a mare bring life into the world. Senior was next to her and she thought she heard him mumble ‘Now that’s the look of love’ but she wasn’t sure so she turned to him and said,”Excuse me?”

  “Nothing my dear just thinking out loud of something I heard once.” She raised one eyebrow to say continue. “Oh dear it is always wise to lift your heart to god and let him lead you where he wants you not where you think you should be.” With that he turned to leave to get Benny out of the barn and to head into the house. She had a few minutes to think about what senior said before Mary and Ben got to where she was. Could Ben be so open about his faith as his father? Could he just not be ready to start living life again for fear of losing again like she was? What did it all mean? She sent up another pray ‘Lord I leave all decisions to you but please help me to see this clearly.’ Once they were at the stables

  Ben was the gentleman and hopped from his horse to help Mary from hers before addressing Annabelle.

  “Sorry that took so long I hope you were able to find something to do. And I hope my dad was at least nice.” He was thinking this all sounds stupid why around her did he become completely dumb he wasn’t sure.

  “Oh it was fine your father and I talked and enjoyed watching the horses for a while and Benny sure can ride his pony.” Rambling is the only thing she could think of. She needed to get control of herself before she really did something stupid. The only thing she could think clearly on was the fact that his jeans were sitting right on his hip bones and he looked really good without his shirt. She also had the thought of what it would feel like to be in his arms kissing him.

  Mary simply coughed to get Annabelle’s attention, “well I’m done here if you are ready we should be going unless ya’ll had some plans to stand in the heat all day for this standoff.” Mary just turned to grab her bag and head for the car to put her things away. Annabelle simply blushed from her head to her toes with the thought that it was that obvious that she was attracted to Ben. Ben couldn’t pull his eyes from Annabelle’s face enjoying the emotion playing out on her face and eyes. He didn’t know what happened but he had the thought that she looked like a sexy angel blushing like that and he must have said it out loud because she suddenly started to get upset with him.

  “What?!” was the only thing he said that made it in to his brain to pull him out of his thoughts.

  “Oh you are such a jerk my face is up a little higher if you are going to talk to me.” With that she turned and stormed to the car. Ben couldn’t figure out what he said because he thought he was only thinking things but he must have opened his mouth again. He sent up a prayer of help. He couldn’t figure out what he did so he headed for the barn to take care of the horses while thinking about Annabelle.

  Once at the car Mary was looking at Annabelle with both her eyebrows almost to her hair line and a look of what the hell was that. Annabelle just ignored the question on her face and got in the car avoiding the questions only for a minute. Mary got in the car and asked, “You going to tell me what happened back there or just make me guess.”

  “Nothing to tell besides he is a jerk and is nothing like the gentleman his father is. Why are all men jerks?” She knew she had tears falling down her cheeks and just swiped at them with the back of her hand to make them go away. She wanted there for a minute to get to know the man but now he was just like every other guy.

  Chapter 5

  Mary dropped Annabelle off at her house instead of shopping because it was getting late. Annabelle still needed to figure out how she was going to get her bike back from Sarah’s but she would deal with that tomorrow all she wanted to do was get in a hot bubble bath and forget about Ben. On the way to the bath she turned on her stereo and set it to play through the house and the c.d. that came on was Muse she hadn’t even realized she still had all her softer music in the player. She enjoyed her bath but could not get Ben out of her head and all the questions about today. Why was his dad so sweet and forward? Why does Ben always say some of the stupidest things about her? And the biggest question why did he have to call her Belle his angel? She wasn’t his anything why did he say that she was more confused now than she was earlier when everything happened. She gave up on the bath since she was in there so long the water was getting cold. She simply dressed in a simple pair of cotton shorts and a tee shirt. That is when she heard the distinct sound of a Harley headed down the road near her house and she started to miss her bike. She was lost in thought about her bike till she heard the bike pull up to her house and stop. She ran to the door to see a beautiful black bike sitting in her drive with a tall hunk of a man sitting on it when he removed his helmet her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t believe the man she has been dreaming about for a week was sitting in her drive on a Harley. He spoke first to break the silence while getting off the bike.

  “Let me guess you thought I only rode horses. Well I thought we could go for a ride and then head over to Sarah’s to get your bike.” She stood there with a surprised look on her face not able to believe this was true. “Um, Belle would you please say something. Oh crap sorry Annabelle.” Crap he did it again he broke one of her unwritten rules.

  “Sorry what?” She finally realized she was saying nothing but just staring at him like a teenager.

  “Want to ride? I know you probably have plans but I couldn’t leave today the way it ended.” Annabelle suddenly realized she was standing in her front lawn with her hair just brushed and in her lounging outfit. She had no makeup on and looked a mess.

  “Alright I'll go but you have to give me a chance to change, and I didn’t have plans tonight but just a night in.”

  “If you want we could do that but I figured you needed to get your bike or we could… Please tell me to shut up or I’ll just keep rambling of things” He ran his hand through his hair looking nerves. She just started to laugh because he was making a fool of himself.

  “No come inside and I’ll change then we will go for that ride. I’ve missed the feel of a bike and the wind.” She waited for him to come over to her before heading inside. Ben reached down when he was close enough to grab her hand and brought it to his lips to lightly kiss her knuckles surprising her. His hand almost swallowed her hand and the calluses on it felt really good. She started to think of the way those hands would feel on her body and had to put a stop to those thoughts quickly.

  “Please forgive me for all the stupid things I have said and for the stupi
d things I’m going to say. Just so you know my brain shuts down every time I’m close to you.” He gave her a small smile to see what her reaction was going to be and hoped he was going to get the response he wanted.

  Annabelle was startled at the fact that he was being a gentleman and for apologizing for the things that he said. She whispered back to him, “I thought it was just mine that shut down. Let’s go inside.” With that she turned to pull him into the house still holding his hand. She raced upstairs to put on jeans and a tank top and her boots to go for a ride. She half ran down the stairs to find him looking at her crucifix in the living room it wasn’t a traditional piece a friend made it for her out of different metals. She comes to a stop just a few feet behind him and the spoke in a soft voice. “A really good friend of mine made that for me.”

  He turned to look her in the eyes before saying anything. “It’s beautiful just like the owner. I love the feel of your home it seems to portray another side of you and I want to get to know every side there is. I thought I was the only one who enjoyed Muse to relax with I have no friends who even listen to them. Are you ready?” She was dumbfounded by the way he thought about every word he said before saying them to make sure it was the right thing and about the fact that he knew who was playing on her stereo.

  “Well now you have a friend who loves Muse but I have to be relaxing to listen. If I showed you my collection of music it probably would blow your mind. Shall we head out it’s going to get dark before too long.” She pulled her hair back to braid it before heading out to ride and started to turn to the door. She was surprised again by his next comment.

  “Just so you know you look really good. Let’s head out.” She just then realized she didn’t put any makeup on in her hurry to not make him wait too long and just threw on a pair of jeans and shirt. Once she turned to lead the way she could feel him behind her. Annabelle grabbed her leather jacket off the door knob to the closet just before he spoke again. “Would it be too much to ask what the sunrise on your back is for and maybe someday see the rest of it?”

  “It’s a sunset and maybe later I’ll tell ya about it but I don’t show the whole thing to most people.” Ben nodded his head to tell her he understood and would wait for her to be ready to let him into that part of her life.

  “Did you want to go get your bike first or did you want to ride together? You decide and we will do.” Ben was hoping and praying she would ride behind him.

  “How bout I ride with you and then maybe get my bike later and then ride together.” Oh she was so ready to have one of her fantasies fulfilled since seeing him of having her arms around him even if it was just from behind. He straddled the bike and held his arm out for her since he knew her bike was a lot smaller than his. She climbed on behind him ready to ride and she made sure to slid right up behind him and put her hands tightly around him. God he felt good to hold onto except her hands barely touch going around him. He looked down and patted her hands. Ben thought she felt good holding on to him she felt so small and he had the urge to protect her. He had a picture of Veronica on this very same bike but she only rode with him if he begged her to go which of course made the ride miserable. He loved that woman but the more he thinks about it there were more things each liked that the other hated. And one of the things he loved was to ride and she wouldn’t even fake it for him even thou he pretended to not hate ballroom dancing for her. Why all the sudden were he having thoughts of the differences between her and who he thought was his soul mate?

  They rode for about two hours and Ben couldn’t have been happier having Annabelle holding on to him it felt right but he was going to have to end the ride soon because he was having thoughts of pulling over and taking her right there on the bike. It was a really good thing he decided to head for Virginia Street, the heart of downtown, so he couldn’t do anything stupid. At the next red light he said, “Shall we go get your bike now?”

  Annabelle was almost disappointed that he wanted to end their time together but then had a thought. “Sure but you want to head back to my house after for some coffee.”

  “Sounds good.” Then the light changed and he headed for Sarah’s house. Once there Sarah and Matt were sitting on the porch swing enjoying the evening together. Sarah suddenly got a cheesy grin on her face knowing that they had spent the last few hours together and they looked really good together. Since Ben had called her earlier asking questions about Annabelle. She happened to let it slip out that Annabelle’s bike was still their garage and knew she was avoiding her because Ben upset her. Sarah looked at them thinking they made the perfect couple. After Ben and Annabelle pulled into the drive they got up to greet them.

  “Perfect day for a ride.” Matt said while shaking Ben’s hand at the bottom of the porch. “Maybe I’ll have to think of getting us one of them because you two made it look like it could lead to other things.” Sarah slapped Matt’s arm in a playful jester and Annabelle blushed to her toes. Ben simply coughed to cover the laughter that wanted to escape from him. If only Matt knew all the thoughts that had been going through his head. Annabelle was having the same thoughts just slightly different.

  “We just stopped by to grab my bike then we were going to head out.” Annabelle said after she composed herself.

  Sarah was trying to think of a way to get Annabelle alone to ask some questions but she knew it wasn’t going to happen. “Alright it’s where you left it and you both are coming for dinner on Wednesday right. Maybe we could all just go out then instead of coming here.”

  Ben just simply replied to Sarah while heading to the garage to get the bike, “let’s see what happens and we will all decide next week.” He already had the door open and just headed in to grab the bike the only thing he could think of was getting Annabelle alone again. He didn’t want to knock her down and take her right then and there now but he wasn’t ready to share her with any one yet tonight. He wanted to get the chance to kiss her and see if there were the same sparks there as there has been every time she touched him.

  Annabelle couldn’t figure out what was up with Ben he seemed to be in the biggest hurry to get out of there but why. She thought about it for a minute then what Matt said came back to her mind. That had to be it because on the ride Ben seemed to get stiff when she laid her head on his back and never seemed to relax after. The jerk probably thinks she invited him back to her place for sex and she never has sex on the first date. Hell this wasn’t even classified as a date. That jerk she will just have to let him know how she is she is not an easy woman to get into bed. She stormed over to her bike to get it from Ben and turned to Sarah and Matt then said. “Thanks for holding it here for me. Let’s go.” She just got on the bike started it and started to head down the drive before Ben even realized she was going to leave without him. She instantly felt bad for acting like a child but he had to know he was not getting anything from her.

  Ben stood there for a moment dumbfounded that he did it again he upset her and didn’t even know what he did. He just took the three needed steps swung his leg over the bike and brought it to life and went after her like he had done this a thousand times. He caught up to her but allowed her to lead the way and never pulled up next to her. Once in her drive he just looked over at her and said, “What the hell was that about?”

  “About you being a jerk and judging me again.” She already had her bike in the garage and was getting ready to shut the door on him. He walked right up to her toe to toe just a breath away and looked her square in the eyes.

  “I didn’t judge a damn thing I think you were the one doing the judging. Now would you tell me what I am guilty of judging you about?” Ben was furious with her for not talking to him and just taking off.

  Annabelle could see the anger in his eyes and knew she went too far but she wasn’t going to back down now. “Well for one what did you think I invited you back here for? I’m not just going to jump into bed with you!” She was getting angrier with each word because she had to explain what he did.
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br />   “I thought we were coming back for coffee and maybe some conversation. I never thought you would just jump in bed with me. And you can’t tell me you were a perfect angel on that ride. I could tell you were having thoughts when you laid your head on my back. I felt your sigh so don’t tell me I’m the only one here having problems keeping their thoughts pure. God help me I want to have you all of you but I won’t till I put a ring on the finger of the girl again to have that special time with.” Half way through talking he had turned away and started pacing to make sure he could get all of that out before he changed his mind.

  Annabelle was shocked that he said all of that. Did he mean to say that he has been pure since his wife died and hasn’t been with anyone? “I… um… I guess I’m the one who needs to apologize now. But I thought the way you were acting at Sarah’s you thought we would… Oh crap I really messed this one up didn’t I?”

  “It’s fine Belle but I normally don’t tell the world that stuff and I think I just told your entire neighborhood that I haven’t had sex in nearly five years. Don’t get me wrong it’s not like I haven’t had the chance I just believe so much in my faith that… oh crap you know all this about the bible I’ll just shut up now. I made a promise that whoever I’m with it would not be about sex but love.” He ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit she was really starting to like. And she was also starting to love the way he called her Belle. She couldn’t believe that after the way she just treated him he was here telling her the most private thing in his life. She needed to say something to help in his embarrassment or he might just turn and leave.